THE GOOD OLE DAYS

Daddy bought the farm, he told us tall tales about camping, and fishing in the river. We were excited, but he failed to tell us when this might happen. Living in the farm house was like camping, especially with the outhouse. The only time we got to go to the river was to wash the tobacco poison off, we used arsenic of lead and Paris Green mixed with corn meal for bud worms. Grady Snow was a share cropper, he put the big hill in corn with a mule, I would follow him as he plowed with a Syracuse plow and later with a double shovel. Daddy and I started milking nine cows by hand, before long the milk barn was completed, and we were milking thirty five with electric milkers. Daddy had to work at AEDC running a crane, the milking was my primary job, Rodney my younger brother sometime helped, but his primary job was feeding hay to the beef cattle. The cows had to be in the pen before daylight, the cows were milked, we were cleaned up to eat breakfast, just in time to hear Lester Flat and Earl Scruggs sing Martha White before we got on the bus at 6:15. It's hard for me to be compassionate when I hear of ciber bullying, I would carry four dozen eggs for teachers, my books, a trombone, and had a girls name. We were fortunate, old timers told of living in a one room shack with a dirt floor. They had only a metal barrel for heat. Then the depression hit.

HEAD NUT

HYBRID VIGOR

Sometimes when you cross pure breeds, the good traits can be multiplied, this is known as hybrid vigor. Other times the cross between pure breeds do not cross well, bad traits are combined, and even good traits are not compatible. Crossing a Border Collie which is a herding dog, with a Blue Healer that is a driving dog, will result most times with a dog that is confused. The current tax bill proposed by our President is a combination of two incompatible philosopies, and the result will be; (This Dog Won't Hunt)

HEAD NUT

NUCLEAR CARS

A new use for uranium has been found, using a form of uranium derived from depleted uranium. Hydrogen and carbon can be separated without a lot of energy being expended. This would revolutionize fossil fuel production and its use. When this process is perfected, the United States could rebound, if there is anyone left that can do anything.

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NORTH KOREA

If we continue to treat North Korea, with the same diplomatic skills that we used at Yemen after the bombing of the USS Cole, the same result should be expected. China, Russia, and most Middle Eastern countries are not our friends. Selling our debt to our enemies is like dealing with loan sharks, it never ends well.

HEAD NUT

STAR WARS

The United States has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt we cannot negotiate. The U.N. is against most of what we propose, and is powerless to enforce what little they do agree with. I propose we set up missile defense stations in countries that are our allies, and provide our own energy. This would protect us and our allies, the nuclear threat would be diminished, and our enemies would not have the funds to harm us.

HEAD NUT

The Benchmark at the wooden boat show

This is a helicopter transmission test stand at Pac's River

This was moved from England and reassembled in Mississippi to test Rolls Royce aircraft turbines

Al Gore gave his global warming speech to England that day

This is Obama's oil spill inspection suit

Scottish Highland cattle at Loch Lomond

This is at Inverary and goes to the sea

This is where Mary Queen of Scotts hid while they attempted to kill her second husband

This is in Inverary Scottland

Stonehenge is a wonder

This is a 25' Spritzel rigged wooden sailboat, I was a movable ballast.

DRIVING MISS SARAH

I can't help but smile thinking about the Republicans sitting in the back of the limousine, with President Obama driving. Opening and closing the doors, holding the umbrella, and asking; where to next. President Obama is still driving, but he will be getting his orders from the back.

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HISPANIC REPUBLICANS

If the majority of Hispanics voted Republican, there wouldn't be enough buses in the United States to haul the illegal Mexicans back to the border. A fence with land mines would be constructed immediately. If the Democrat's would stop micro-managing the voters with legislation, America could once again thrive. Our government farms voters, fertilizing them with non-nutritious food, paying them to raise more Democrat's, and the obesity the government causes, only increases there dependency. Politician's should represent the people of their district, not manipulate them for votes. Politician's should always be on probation, compromise violates that probation.

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MID-TERM

This election differed greatly from the previous one, Chris Matthews had a tingling sensation running down his left arm. Nancy Pelosi was crying, you couldn't see it because her tear ducts are behind her ear lobes. Charlie Rangal wants the Lame Duck ethics committee to deal with his case before the Republicans take over. The President will appoint his dispensable pawns, as Czars and regulators. After Charlie is pardoned he can be Swamp Czar.

HEAD NUT

BUS

As the President's enemies get elected and are seated in the back of the bus, it will fill up, and the President will have to be strapped to the hood. The bus will look like a Pontiac with a hood ornament like that. The bus tires will have to be aired up to compensate for the ears on the ornament, and the weight of the enemies. I hope the bus does not run in the ditch, there are no shovels available to dig the bus out, and I could not stomach every new school, and road being named for the ornament.

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MR. NEET

I had a good friend in high school that had to shave three times a day if he had a date. He came to me during Ag shop and proposed a theory, if Neet worked on girls legs why wouldn't it work on my face. I told him I didn't know but there must be a reason. The next day he came to school, every pour was a red pimple with a black hair in it. I immediately knew what had happened, and began laughing. His older brother taught school, and was absent for three days. We had a football game that night, the chin strap was almost unbearable, so he covered his chin with a slick salve. This helped but every time he had a hard lick, his helmet fell off. One time his helmet flew off and the referee asked him what was wrong with his face, I answered you wouldn't believe it if I told you.

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MOSQUE AND STATE

Our founding fathers wrote the Constitution to prevent the Government from imposing a religion upon the people of the United States, among other things. England had a religion thrust upon them by the King, and that was what many colonist were trying to escape. The Muslims have a religion that is incorporated with a political system that is not compliant with the United States Constitution. Until there is a separation of Mosque and State, the Constitution would prevent this intolerant way of life in our country.

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BASKETS

As a boy I was nosing around in Granny's dining room buffet, I came across some newspaper cut in a triangular form. I asked Granny what it was, and she told me it was Papa's finger pattern. I was told it was the finger cone used in a fish basket, and they were strictly illegal. So I gathered up the welded 4' wire, the hog rings, and wire cutters. After making three 8 ' baskets and, transporting them in loads of hay for concealment. They were safely at home on the river, two spots were easy just tie the no. 9 wire on a tree that fell in the water in a deep hole. The third was a challenge, we wanted to catch Suckers, they were only in swift water. We solved that problem by using a walking mule cultivator to tie the third . We carried the cultivator to the swift part of the river on a cypress river boat. The next thing we made was a long cedar pole with a horse shoe nailed to the end, to pull up the baskets. We gathered roast-nears and soaked them in a barrel of water to sour for bait. The baskets worked good, in the deep water we caught catfish, black perch, and a few bass. In the swift water we caught as many as 23 suckers at one time. Mama canned the suckers after pressure cooking the bones, and they made wonderful fish patties. The other fish were fried and eaten that night with Mama,s hush-puppies. I don't know if it was the way the fish were caught, or the home made lard they were fried in, but they were better back then.

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SAVANT

Former President Carter was released from the hospital today, luckily he only had a peanut allergy. The news coverage of his sickness made me think of the 22% interest I was paying to buy cattle when he was president. He embargoed the grain shipped to Russia; They bought it from Argentina. This caused a surplus of corn, the cattle price dropped along with the price of corn, and hurt the American farmer. We had long lines to buy gas, but it was not as long as the hostages had to wait for Regan to be elected. I've heard of an Idiot Savant, I'm beginning to think Billy was the Savant of the family.

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EDUCATION

After thirty plus years of living with a public school teacher, I have come to the conclusion that teachers should have personal assistance. They should do whatever the teacher ask of them, to better enable the teacher to educate the children. Teachers should be compensated based on their performance, and how they educate children. This would make teaching a more rewarding, and competitive profession. Teachers should not have to choose between educating children, and their home life. The personal assistant role could be filled by student teachers, they could learn by watching, and have their tuition paid, also the school system could pay them minimum wage.

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WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION

President Obama, and his party lambasted President Bush for freeing the people of Iraq, because Sadam Hussien was suspected of using weapons of mass destruction. Something killed over one million Kurds; Our President and his believers must have a different view of mass destruction. The Kensien theory: As long as the Government is in control the cost is irrelevant. In my opinion Obamacare, Cap an Tax, and the forty plus Czars are Weapons of Mass Destruction.

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POISON IVY

Even though I received the majority of my education cleaning poison ivy from fence rows, instead of the ivy covered walls of Harvard. If some tax cuts are good, more tax cuts would be better. I've heard all my life," do something if it's wrong", and " don"t half ass do anything". Complacency and compromise are not what our elected officials have been elected to do. They should represent their constituency, and the majority do not believe more Government is the answer. If you are divorced and give 50% to your ex-wife and kids, 40% to the government, and 10% to the Lord, someone will be left out. Who should it be?

In 1936 Winston Churchill warned: "The era of procrastination, of half measures, of soothing and battling expedients, of delays is coming to its close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences."

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CARP

First Lady Michelle Obama wants to stamp out obesity. The newly appointed Asian Carp Czar will multiply the fishes. The Democrats will rename them Bugle Mouth Bass, the Smoker-in-Chief will fix our economy so well, Carp will taste good. Our First Lady will recommend we wash the Bugle Mouth Bass down with watermelon juice. It might work; I had a dog that didn't like turnip greens for two weeks. We will be healthy like Russia in no time.

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APPEASEMENT

When the USS Cole was attacked at Yemen, and Osama Ben laden was responsible, no retaliation for the attack was permitted by President Clinton.This was perceived as weakness by the Radical Islamist. When the tragedy of 9/11 occurred this awakened the sleeping giant. Now nine years later we are going back to sleep, appeasing the enemy, and allowing the Muslims to build a Mosque/Training Center near Ground Zero. The Qu'ran should not be burned, it should be read. If the Muslims will not police themselves, they are our enemy. They need to have it explained to them in the only way they understand. Many Countries and the Jewish people tried to appease Hitler, we should learn from history not repeat it.

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ECONOMY

The Republican overspending, with the help of the Democrat controlled Congress put our economy in the ditch. Our affirmative action president with a veneer of intellect has given us a ray of hope and change. Today he has appointed yet another Czar, the Asian Carp Czar this will fix our economy.

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HIGH SPEED RAIL

There should be high speed rail leaving Washington D.C. to run the current politicians out on. If you buy watermelons for $1.00, and sell them for .50 cents a bigger truck is not going to help. If the manufacturers are not producing, and the people have no jobs what is the reasoning for fixing our rails and roads. Government is the problem not the solution, abolish the EPA for a start this will immediately recharge our economy, and the private sector will provide all that is necessary.

HEAD NUT

28TH AMENDMENT

It only takes 38 of 50 states to convene a Constitutional Convention. I think the 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution should be: " Congress shall make no law that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States." Some think this would exempt our President because he is not a citizen, I disagree, my suspicion is he is hiding his birth certificate because it states he is White.

HEAD NUT

BOZO

Back in the 70's a good friend of mine fired BOZO the Clown at channel 2 in Nashville. I thought this was terrible, and my friend was cold hearted for doing such a thing. I find out today BOZO was different behind the rubber nose, according to his second wife, he was a liar, cheat, and scoundrel. I was wrong for supporting BOZO all these years. Maybe I can make it up to my friend by exposing what is behind the rubber nose of our President.

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DIVERSION

When our President makes a speech, giving his opponents something to talk about, watch out it is a diversion. His noncommittal speech about the Mosque, supporting the Constitution is just one example. This diverted attention from the failing economy, and poor job numbers for a few days. When things get bad, watch out for another diversion. Brace up Taiwan you could be sacrificed, for Obama,s election.

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CHECKERS

Static numbers thrown out by the Professional Left to influence the Amateur Left, do not depict how taxes effect our economy. Our economy is more complex than the Amateur Left believes. Increasing taxes will hurt the economic growth of our country, but grow the government employment, and control of the people. The Professional Left is playing chess, and moving the country closer to socialism. The Amateur Left, and Incumbent Right is playing checkers and allowing this tragedy to happen. Limiting the size of government to what the constitution requires, and lowering taxes accordingly will allow our economy to grow. This will allow us to reach full employment, and be the economic power we once were.

HEAD NUT

STRAIN THE SWAMP

I must have misunderstood; Nancy Pelosi must have said strain instead of drain. Draining the swamp will not begin until November. It will be up to the electorate, not Nancy Pelosi to do the draining. It's easy to be distracted watching Nancy speak, her face is so tight when she speaks her eyes blink like a frog in a hail storm. She may have even said seine, like she does for Tuna and Porpoise, they put in Starkist the family business.

HEAD NUT

FEDERAL JUDGE

I was shocked to hear a Federal Judge ruled in Arizona that a Federal Law, could not be enforced by a State Officer. Until I see a Federal Game officer, I should not have to buy a Duck Stamp, Trout Stamp, or abide by any of the migratory bird rules. Welcome back lead shot, I've always wondered if Bald Eagle really taste like Owl.

HEAD NUT

ETHICS

Many politicians in Washington D.C. think ethics can be plea bargained or negotiated. Nancy Pelosi vowed to drain the swamp, apparently only Republicans are in the swamp. The Democrat's are saving the wetland. Representative Charles Rangel after a two year ethics investigation is now negotiating a plea deal. This will be successful because other endangered Democrat's are in the wetland too. While we watch this Circus the Bush tax cuts will sunset, and all our taxes will increase. The only hope we have is to fight fire with fire. Wear an Acorn tee shirt to get past the New Black Panther ethics committee, it's not ethical, but it might save our country.

HEAD NUT

UNDOCUMENTED SPIES

Illegal aliens should be reclassified as undocumented spies. The State Department could swap twelve million spies for four Americans imprisoned in Mexico. Other country's could participate in this program, the same ratio could be used. For years the United States has won wars, but lost the negotiation, starting with the Yalta Conference. This expertise should not be wasted, all spies should be negotiated off with other country's.

HEAD NUT

ARIZONA

President Obama should be impeached for not fulfilling his duty, and sworn oath to protect Arizona from invasion. When New Mexico was invaded by Pancho Villa in 1915, and was not sanctioned by the Mexican government, President Wilson sent Brigadier General John J. Perhsing and his troops to protect the border. The only difference is back then the administration was not depending on the Hispanic vote. The U.S. Constitution has not changed.

HEAD NUT

NASA

NASA Administrator Charles Bolden said in a recent interview that his "foremost" mission as the head of America's space exploration agency is to improve relations with the Muslim world. This change in policy could save NASA millions of dollars. The Jihadist are already trained for such a mission, they could look for goats, and Infidel's on Mars. This could justify the cancellation of the Constellation program, it would be a one way trip, each spaceship would be equipped with an altitude switch or sometimes referred to as a 72 virgin switch. This new mission could expand Muslim's all over the universe. For many years the Muslim contribution to space propulsion has been overlooked the Magic Carpet.

HEAD NUT

UNEMPLOYMENT

Nancy Pelosi said that unemployment was one of the best ways to stimulate employment. After much confusion and deep meditation I thought of a scenario, in which this could be true. If Nancy Pelosi and other like minded politicians were unemployed the rate would change from 9.5% to 4% overnight.

HEAD NUT

SPIES

The eleven Russian spies that were arrested in the U.S., for stealing our economic plans, were also passing along information on health care, defense, energy, and how to cap an oil well. If deported to Russia they will be immediately shot as double agents.

HEAD NUT

HOSTAGES

When President Obama uses crisis that he created to circumvent the constitution, we are all held hostage. Appointing incompetent people to oversee energy regulation's created an emergency. Not building a fence and protecting our borders is creating another emergency. Spending money, increasing our National debt will cause another crisis. He will continue to create or allow many more emergency's to happen, so he can change our freedom into his progressive way of control. Anyone who opposes him will be introduced too Chicago politics. The American people are like the Jimmy Carter hostages of the late seventy's, some will be released in 2010, but all will not be released until a new President is elected in 2012.

HEAD NUT

TAR CZAR

If appointed Tar Czar I would have the leaking oil well confiscated from BP, and the oil captured and sold to fund the cleanup and provide money for the affected people. BP would not be allowed to drill or operate in US waters. All existing BP wells in US waters would be given to the nearest state. BP, TransOcean, and Halliburton should be fined $75 million each with no further criminal law suites. Shallow water wells would be encouraged, along with nuclear energy. This would make the US independent of foreign energy and lesson the probability of being attacked by foreign countries. Our economy would improve with cheap energy, and our enemy's would not have the funds to attack.

HEAD NUT

TAR BABY

Brer Obama was walking on the beach looking at tar baby's, pondering how he could have Acorn register them to vote. Brer Public thought the tar baby's would be his ruin, but they were wrong. Brer Obama said you can do anything to me but please don't throw me in the marsh. Brer Public thought this would be the end of him, but they were wrong. The next time Brer Obama was heard from he was in Washington D.C. He was laughing at Brer Public, he criminalized the tar baby producers. This made his lawyer friends happy they got 40%. The litigation would take eight years, since this is an emergency the tar baby's would be transported by barge at government expense at a million gallons per day. This would make the tar baby producers happy. Brer Obama could use this crisis to pass his cap and tax, increase regulation, and raise oil prices to make green energy more palatable.

HEAD NUT

OIL LEAK

I have waited long enough, BP and Obama cannot stop the oil so I guess I will tell them how. The Navy demolition team can determine the charge necessary to sever the pipe and drill steel, at the first leak past the Cameron type TL blowout preventer. The charge will be placed by submerged robotic device and then detonated. When the pipe is severed another charge well be placed on the side of the pipe and when it is detonated it will bend the pipe over, like bending a straw. With the oil stopped, and the seafood industry devastated for years, the people can feel the importance of the seafood industry, and the cost of imported oil. The oil industry has plenty of regulation, but like our border regulations they are not enforced.

HEAD NUT

TROLL

There was a woman who had a son that was down syndrome in his twenty's. He was capable of staying alone, she worked nearby, and was only a phone call away. She was at work when the phone rang; Mama come home I've caught a Troll. Thinking he was watching television dismissed the call, by telling him she would see it when she got home. The phone rang a few minutes later; Mama come home now, I've caught a Troll. She told her boss she had to check on things with her son, and went immediately home. Upon arriving she discovered the closet door locked, with a chair propped against the door knob. There were screams for help and beating on the door. When she opened the door, she discovered a very mad Jehovah's Witness midget. The judge dropped all the charges.

HEAD NUT

CONFUSED

Our geek-in-chief does not know how to use a iPod, but gives one to the Queen. The President told the University of Virginia student's that gadgets and gizmo's are putting pressure on our country and democracy, but couldn't give up his Blackberry when elected. Eric Holder mirandized the crotch bomber when arrested, that wasn't even a citizen of the United States. When an American citizen was arrested for the Time Square bombing, he wants to change the Law, and exclude suspected terrorist. I feel like the Gay White Supremacist from the mountain. I don't know whether to shave my head or pull my tooth.

HEAD NUT

ARIZONA IMMIGRATION LAW

I was perplexed why President Obama was against the new Arizona Immigration Law. It is obvious he does not agree with states rites, and all Americans should be hyphenated, so they could be divided and controlled easily. The real danger he fears is that this legislation may spread to other states. This would adversely effect his campaign for president, any state passing this law would be obligated to check his citizenship.

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REAR VIEW TRANSPARENCY

Now that the Obamacare bill has passed, with the new rear view mirror transparency, we can begin to read and understand the implications of this legislation. Medical doctors can be forced into military service by the President. The President can activate State National Guard anytime without the Governors permission, even bringing Guardsmen from retirement. So much for States rites. This bill should cure people with low blood pressure, the majority of people should visit the end of life councilor's. They will be the ones with blue shirts with a big acorn in the middle.

HEAD NUT

ELECTION

Metro Lynchburg Moore County sounds large but is one of the smallest county's in Tennessee. We do not have a primary for local candidates, it's just the Church of Christ against the Baptist. In years past when there was a State and Federal primary, if their were two Republican votes cast, it triggered an immediate investigation, someone voted twice. Since then we have become dependant on the government to take care of us. The government controls our money, and our health, we can look to Greece and Spain at our future. When a politician spends millions to win a seat that supposedly pays thousands, one of us is stupid. We should vote all incumbents out of office and replace them with people that have our same values, and will limit there own terms in office. We should vote before it becomes the Muslims against the Infidels.

HEAD NUT

STIMULUS

We have all heard the term, to many Chiefs and not enough Indians, though politically incorrect this describes what our current stimulus plan is doing. The country has to many government personnel, and not enough American worker's. The government unemployment rate is 3% while the construction unemployment rate is 25%. It makes me wonder, if the stimulus money was appropriated for shovel ready projects. What is the government shoveling?

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REPEAT HISTORY

Today was a historic day, in 1775 the STAMP ACT was imposed on the Colonies. This tax was imposed against the will of the people, and finally stirred them into action. The Obamacare vote last night exposed the Representatives that elected to drink the Kool-Aid rather than face Rob in the shower. I am very disappointed in the Democrat Representatives from Tennessee, not only did they vote against the will of the people they represent, but they failed to get compensation for the natural disaster that occurred in 1811 that caused the Mississippi river to run backward for three days. Unlike the ninth ward, part of Tennessee is still flooded, Reelfoot Lake.

HEAD NUT

DRAIN THE SWAMP

Nancy Pelosi was going to drain the swamp. Most people didn't understand, she was only changing the name, and turning the whole country into a wet land. In eight months we can begin to turn this around, and bring our country back into production, ridding ourselves of the stagnant water and vermin that strive in a wet land. In 2012 the pendulum will swing the other way and the country can start paying the price of this exercise in democracy. As long as we abide by the principals our fore fathers wrote in the constitution, and not change the interpretation of these principals to match the laws made in the swamp, our country will survive. Let's stand on solid rock not quivering sand.

HEAD NUT

KWETH

Killer whales eating tasty humans, the Romans have nothing on us we pay twenty dollars a head to view this. When all the whales have been trained, I propose we transfer all the prisoners from Gitmo to Orlando for trial. They can stand next to the pool dressed in a seal suit with there right hand raised holding a fish. They can plead guilty or stand and talk as long as they wish. Extra admission would be payed gladly, and the trials would make money, and help the economy. Moving the trials to Orlando would open up space at Gitmo for Charley Rangel and his staff, they like free Caribbean vacations.

HEAD NUT

TIGER REHAB

In the late 50's Tiger would not have had a problem with sexual addiction. And the last place he would go for therapy, would be Mississippi. I could imagine Tiger at a country club years ago, parking cars or even a caddy, but not going to Hattisburg and wanting therapy for messing around with white women. I don't know how they treat sexual addiction now, but back then it consisted of lighting a cross and a hemp rope. Times have changed, I guess now that Tiger has apologized he will return to Hattisburg and continue with his therapy. If lighting Gator Aid farts, and braiding Nike shoe strings fails in Mississippi, there is a good treatment facility in Grundy County.

HEAD NUT

SLEDDING

Back in the good old days, before Al Gore invented Global Warming it snowed more. We didn't have bought sleds so we made them from what we could find. Our first sled was made from 2x4's and was not fast, which was good because it was also uncontrollable. The next sled we made was from an upright commercial freezer. We removed one side that turned over the top eight inches. It was enameled and was very fast, and uncontrollable. This was fun until all three of us ended up in the ditch, luckily I was in the back and I had my younger brothers to pad the collision. The next year we acquired a used sled, that was factory made. It came a six inch snow that covered the rocks and ground hog holes. We took turns pulling the sled to the top of the hill, the ride was fun. The thrill soon left so we got a 4x8 sheet of plywood and made a ramp. The jump brought the fun back until it was my turn and my brothers piled rocks under the ramp, while I pulled the sled to the top of the hill. The ramp covered with snow was almost straight up, I not knowing the angle had been changed hit the ramp at a high rate of speed. I went about twenty feet into the air, and flipped. When I landed on my back it knocked the air out of me, and I slid to the bottom of the hill. My brothers were laughing, and I was gasping for air, I learned a lot about physics and human nature that day.

HEAD NUT

DSL

Now that China, Africa, and Haiti have high speed Internet. AT&T is going to look into putting a seven party DSL system in Lois and Hurdlow. They have run into a few problems, removing the bird shot from the phone lines, that causes a grounding problem when it rains. Finding the crank telephones is hard since most of them are used for fishing. Doing a needs assessment is problematic because our small county has eleven zip codes, we have four, just in Lois and Hurdlow. AT&T will continue to collect the extra tax from rural areas, while they try to solve the problem. Until they can come up with a solution we can pick blackberry's while the world uses Blackberry's.

HEAD NUT

VENTRILOQUIST

Hickernut thinks it's time for a new third party in politics, the Ventriloquist Party. The candidate's lips would not move, therefore he or she would not be lying. The dummy's would be recognisable by the American people and not taken seriously. The dummy's would not be elected, the ventriloquist could not speak, and no new laws to take our freedom could be enacted. The silent majority could lead our country by example, not by talking from both sides of his or her mouth.

HEAD NUT

CLASS

We have allowed ourselves to be divided into elite, middle,and lower class people. We are Americans, and should be united not divided for political reasons. Even though these divisions exist we are free to determine which category we fall, it is not the Government's place to determine that division. We are a Christian nation founded on the word of God, and the Government should not impose a certain religion on it's people. We are Americans not hyphenated anything, we should not allow ourselves to be divided and subdivided into categories for political reasons. One nation under God, with liberty and justice for all. United we stand divided we fall. These proclamations still hold true, remember this when you vote.

HEAD NUT

TRUCKS

Hickernut would like to offer some advice for Liberal Progressives in the mid-term elections. Campaign in a truck; Hickernut just happens to have two perfect pickups. One is a Chevrolet with over 260,000 miles, and if you are in real trouble Hickernut has a Dodge with 370,000 miles. Hickernut would be willing to trade the Chevrolet for a VW 2010 Touareg TDI, and the Dodge for a BMW X5 35D. Hickernut is not asking for boot, because this will only increase votes and in no way insures a win. To win you have to actually drive the truck.

HEAD NUT

EARTHQUAKE

Haiti was devastated by the earthquake, the world will stop hating us for a few weeks as we take the lead in the relief of that island nation. We have already felt a tremor, but if Scott Brown beats

Martha Coakley, there will be a major earthquake in Massachusetts Tuesday. Majority leader Harry Reid convinced the Republican candidate to change his middle name " Scott Lite Brown". This may be what it takes to put him over the top. The quake could be felt nationwide.

HEAD NUT

BLUE RIBBON COMMISSION

The Blue Ribbon Hickernut Commission has concluded, all terrorist acts that have been perpetrated against domestic and non-domestic civilians and military personnel, have been committed by Muslims. Though all Muslims are not terrorist , they do not police themselves. So for the protection of all the people, Muslims must be profiled. It is the further conclusion of the commission that, all males arriving at an airport with dark hair, especially with a beard will be searched unless they arrived in a horse drawn buggy. A large bowl of pork rhines will be offered when first arriving at the airport. Anyone eating pork rhines will be routed to the plane, others will be screened further. If you have a towel on your head you will be subjected to the Deliverance cavity search. These recommendations will make our skies safer, and not only speed up screening, but will cost millions less money.

HEAD NUT

UNIONS

I belonged to the Operating Engineers Union when I ran a concrete pump. I had just finished pouring a parking garage floor at the hospital in Huntsville Alabama. The pump was cleaned by five PM and I drove it to Metropolis Illinois. I was meet at the gate, and told a Teamster would park my pump truck. I could wait in the office while they attempted to find someone local that could run the pump. This baffled me, I thought we were one big happy family. Finding no one local qualified to run the pump I was allowed to operate the concrete pump. The Teamster had parked it wrong so I moved the pump. The Teamster Stewart ask me, what I thought I was doing? I apologized, I was not aware it took multiple attempts for a Teamster to park a rig. I started putting the pipes together and the Pipe Fitters Stewart said his men would do that. I put the snap clamps away and gave them the bolt on clamps, and a Crescent wrench. The first concrete trucks arrived, and I directed one back to the pump. The Labor Stewart came over and asked me what I thought I was doing? He told me we had laborers for that. In a few minutes a beer can from the concrete truck was on the screen, so I took a shovel and racked it off. The Labor Stewart came back with another laborer for that, and told me to keep my hands on the levers. Stafford was running another pump on the other side of the silo, and was having similar problems with Union Stewart's. It was hot and he blew a hydraulic hose under his pump, knowing he had only a few minutes before the concrete set up, he crawled under the pump in the sand and hot oil to replace the hose. The Operation Engineer Stewart drove up in a cherry picker crane, and asked Stafford what he thought he was doing? Stafford replied changing the hose before the concrete sets up. The Stewart said, we have mechanics for that, and ran over Stafford's tool box with the crane. Stafford being from Jackson County Tennessee, promptly went to his car and got his sawed off shotgun. Stafford stuck the shotgun in the Stewart's face and told him he was buying him a new tool box. The job superintendent rushed over and said he would buy everyone a tool box if he would put the gun away. After that Stafford got a new tool box, and we had know more problems with the Unions in Illinois.

HEAD NUT