CARP

First Lady Michelle Obama wants to stamp out obesity. The newly appointed Asian Carp Czar will multiply the fishes. The Democrats will rename them Bugle Mouth Bass, the Smoker-in-Chief will fix our economy so well, Carp will taste good. Our First Lady will recommend we wash the Bugle Mouth Bass down with watermelon juice. It might work; I had a dog that didn't like turnip greens for two weeks. We will be healthy like Russia in no time.

HEAD NUT