SPIES

The eleven Russian spies that were arrested in the U.S., for stealing our economic plans, were also passing along information on health care, defense, energy, and how to cap an oil well. If deported to Russia they will be immediately shot as double agents.

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HOSTAGES

When President Obama uses crisis that he created to circumvent the constitution, we are all held hostage. Appointing incompetent people to oversee energy regulation's created an emergency. Not building a fence and protecting our borders is creating another emergency. Spending money, increasing our National debt will cause another crisis. He will continue to create or allow many more emergency's to happen, so he can change our freedom into his progressive way of control. Anyone who opposes him will be introduced too Chicago politics. The American people are like the Jimmy Carter hostages of the late seventy's, some will be released in 2010, but all will not be released until a new President is elected in 2012.

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TAR CZAR

If appointed Tar Czar I would have the leaking oil well confiscated from BP, and the oil captured and sold to fund the cleanup and provide money for the affected people. BP would not be allowed to drill or operate in US waters. All existing BP wells in US waters would be given to the nearest state. BP, TransOcean, and Halliburton should be fined $75 million each with no further criminal law suites. Shallow water wells would be encouraged, along with nuclear energy. This would make the US independent of foreign energy and lesson the probability of being attacked by foreign countries. Our economy would improve with cheap energy, and our enemy's would not have the funds to attack.

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TAR BABY

Brer Obama was walking on the beach looking at tar baby's, pondering how he could have Acorn register them to vote. Brer Public thought the tar baby's would be his ruin, but they were wrong. Brer Obama said you can do anything to me but please don't throw me in the marsh. Brer Public thought this would be the end of him, but they were wrong. The next time Brer Obama was heard from he was in Washington D.C. He was laughing at Brer Public, he criminalized the tar baby producers. This made his lawyer friends happy they got 40%. The litigation would take eight years, since this is an emergency the tar baby's would be transported by barge at government expense at a million gallons per day. This would make the tar baby producers happy. Brer Obama could use this crisis to pass his cap and tax, increase regulation, and raise oil prices to make green energy more palatable.

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OIL LEAK

I have waited long enough, BP and Obama cannot stop the oil so I guess I will tell them how. The Navy demolition team can determine the charge necessary to sever the pipe and drill steel, at the first leak past the Cameron type TL blowout preventer. The charge will be placed by submerged robotic device and then detonated. When the pipe is severed another charge well be placed on the side of the pipe and when it is detonated it will bend the pipe over, like bending a straw. With the oil stopped, and the seafood industry devastated for years, the people can feel the importance of the seafood industry, and the cost of imported oil. The oil industry has plenty of regulation, but like our border regulations they are not enforced.

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TROLL

There was a woman who had a son that was down syndrome in his twenty's. He was capable of staying alone, she worked nearby, and was only a phone call away. She was at work when the phone rang; Mama come home I've caught a Troll. Thinking he was watching television dismissed the call, by telling him she would see it when she got home. The phone rang a few minutes later; Mama come home now, I've caught a Troll. She told her boss she had to check on things with her son, and went immediately home. Upon arriving she discovered the closet door locked, with a chair propped against the door knob. There were screams for help and beating on the door. When she opened the door, she discovered a very mad Jehovah's Witness midget. The judge dropped all the charges.

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CONFUSED

Our geek-in-chief does not know how to use a iPod, but gives one to the Queen. The President told the University of Virginia student's that gadgets and gizmo's are putting pressure on our country and democracy, but couldn't give up his Blackberry when elected. Eric Holder mirandized the crotch bomber when arrested, that wasn't even a citizen of the United States. When an American citizen was arrested for the Time Square bombing, he wants to change the Law, and exclude suspected terrorist. I feel like the Gay White Supremacist from the mountain. I don't know whether to shave my head or pull my tooth.

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