WINE

My first time making wine was August 7th 1978, Marie got me started for religious reasons. The Doctor told her a glass of wine at night would relax her and aid her in breast feeding. She thought that entering a liquor store would send her straight to hell, so I was forced to make wine. I called Uncle Leon to get a recipe from a friend of his in German Town, this recipe called for the use of whiskey barrels. I recruited help from Tony to pick wild muscadines, we hit the mother load at Judge Leslies. We attempted to crush the muscadines in a stainless sink at Tony's milk barn with a ball bat. After this failed we mashed them by hand, we discovered the acid in the muscadines would eat the hide off your arms. We filled two open topped barrels, and added sugar, covered barrels with cheese cloth and waited seven days. After the first fermentation the liquid was drained into another barrel, it was bunged with a bung that had been drilled for a tube, and placed in a jug of water to prevent air from entering the barrel. One cold morning before Thanksgiving the wine had stopped working, the drilled bung was removed, and replaced with the solid bung. Two weeks later we were going to taste the wine, Tony got a claw hammer and was going to use the claws to remove the bung. Me being an expert, working at the distillery, took the hammer from him, and told him the proper way to remove a bung. You hit the barrel on each side of the tapered bung. With the first lick the bung hit me between to eyes and then dented the ceiling. When I recovered Tony was still laughing and we put the tube back in the barrel. We made seventy gallons of good wine, it was 13.78% and once again I rescued Marie.

HEAD NUT