Friday, May 29, 2009

B O THE TERRIBLE

We now have fourteen Czars, that report only to the President. They have no oversight, and complete control of the agency's they oversee. This puts another layer of government on top of the inefficient layers we already have. The Car Czar has made me an owner of Government Motor's. This was a good deal for the administration, it will net three million votes at one and one half million per vote. This ownership will only cost me six thousand dollars, if all the Czar's can perform at that level change will surely come. ACORN is looking better, they can get a vote for a pack of cigarettes.

HEAD NUT

SHOTGUN

The blacksmith shop was located next to the country store. Jake took the horse to the blacksmith shop to have it shod. While waiting he was talking to Brice about hunting. Brice told Jake about a shotgun he had, it has not been shot in some time. Jake said he might be interested in buying the gun. Brice went to the house and brought the shotgun to the blacksmith shop to show Jake. About that time Uncle Jared was coming to the store with a basket of eggs. Brice thought it would be funny if he shot just as Uncle Jared passed. Brice shot, Uncle Jared throwed eggs every direction. Brice didn't know a dirt dobber had built in the end of the barrel. The barrel exploded and the end looked like a flower blooming. Brice said, " It never done that before".

HEAD NUT

Saturday, May 23, 2009

RENAME GITMO

President Obama has said he will close Gitmo, congress will not approve money for closier until he picks the backyard. He could make Gitmo go away by renaming it like, The War on Terrorism, was changed to the Overseas Contingency Operation. I would suggest a few names, Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center for Underwater Studies; The George W. Bush Detention Center; The Terrorist Undisclosed Location; The Terrorist Holding Center; Seventy Two Virginians Allah's Reward; Paradise City; Camp Friendship and Peace; Democrat Memorial Politburo; Detainment Facility for Persons Involved in Man Caused Disasters; Camp Freedom; Barack H. Obama Terrorist Haven; Bay of Pigs Global War on Terror Detention Center; Prison for Non-Uniformed Enemy Combatants; Bay of Pigs Information Extraction Facility; The International Resort and Spa for Recovering Terrorist and Islamic Freedom Fighters; Or Pelosi Enhanced Truth Center. In the same stroke of the left handed pen he could change Mr. President to Dear Leader.

HEAD NUT

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Green Shoots

I put out a tobacco patch one year, and there was a lot of green shoots between the rows. They were sticker careless, it took about four years to rid the patch of them. The culprit was manure, it was free, and good for the plants. I found out the hard way manure contains a tremendous amount of weed seed, and the outside shell is dissolved in the stomach of the animal. This combined with the nutrients of the manure can be defastating to your crop. After hoeing, plowing, and applying a herbicide, I finally took control in two years, but the problem took four years to completely eradicate. The moral of this story is, even though the manure is free, it is filled with weed seed. You hoe what you sew.

HEAD NUT

Sunday, May 17, 2009

National Healthcare

National Health care should have a one year trial period. The new health care system should be implemented for Congress, the President, and all Federal employees. This would allow time to get the bugs out before the general public utilizes the program. The new National Health care can be funded with the profits from Amtrak and the United States Postal Service. The new health care system should be managed by the District of Columbia educational administration. After one year I'm sure the general public will be clamoring to get on board.

HEAD NUT

Thursday, May 14, 2009

BUZZARD EGGS

Papa was a heavy equipment operator and farmer. He cranked up the first dozer building Woods Reservoir. Granny worked on the farm, and loved to raise all kinds of foul. She had chickens, ducks, peacocks, and even Chinese chickens. One day at work Papa came across a nest of buzzard eggs. He thought it would be funny to get Granny to set the eggs. He told her they were duck eggs, and could set them under an old setting hen. About three weeks later Papa asked her if the ducks ever hatched. She said; Roy I had plenty of ducks, so I scrambled them and put the sandwiches in your lunch.

HEAD NUT

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

OBAMACARE

The Ted Kennedy Health Care Reform and Water Safety Act, will exempt elected officials from Obamacare, if they are Democrat's. Doctors that have to study and train for twelve years, and continually update, will be managed by ACORN. Every citizen not exempted will be required to have Obamacare. Illegal Aliens can have free health care, this will boost our image with foreign country's. When ACORN completes the census and accesses a value to each person, affordable and accessible health care will be provided to all. When a value is determined health care will be provided up to and not to exceed that value. Always remember somewhere in Kenya a village is missing it's IDIOT.

HEAD NUT

Thursday, May 7, 2009

S. S. LOLIPOP

I read where one of our Navy Ships ran from two skiffs loaded with Somali Pirates. At first I couldn't believe our Navy would run away. Then I looked at the big picture, the skiffs were Chinese and were coated with lead paint. They couldn't be sunk in our pristine ocean without a EPA Super Fund cleanup. The Pirate body's would draw sharks to the shore, and mess up the surfing on the Somalia coast. The world would think we were bully's, shooting teenagers who were just having fun firing on a Navy Ship. I think everyone aboard the ship should receive a metal for there outstanding maneuvering under fire. The next time it's dry docked it should be painted pink and green with lead free paint so it wouldn't look so aggressive.

HEAD NUT