Sunday, April 26, 2009

WATERBOARDING

Nancy Pelosi and Sheila Jackson Lee, a pair of our best and brightest got special access to view Top Secret documents, concerning water boarding. Abu Zubaida was water boarded and finally broke after thirty five seconds. He told interrogators that he was recruited to vote by ACORN, but he had double crossed them and voted republican. Nancy Pelosi was upset that he voted republican. Sheila Jackson Lee was even more upset that he double crossed ACORN. Then they had a simultaneous MENSA moment, they would rename water boarding, Man Caused Underwater Extraction and let it continue.

HEAD NUT

Thursday, April 23, 2009

VETTING

During the presidential campaign I listened to the democrats rave that McCain didn't vett Governor Palin properly. The media sent droves of Enquirer type reporters, to dig up dirt. They were unable to find anything on her, so they started on her family. What they couldn't twist to sound bad, they made up. Who vetted our President, and Vice President? After the election who vetted the Cabinet? Where is the main stream media to insure the vetting was done properly? I thought the democrat vetting must have been outsourced to the Mafia, but they don't do anything Federal. Then I thought they might have used Moccasin Bend, but those people are crazy not stupid. Then it came to me, vetting doesn't apply to elected democrats. Vetting only effects people with morals and ethics.

HEAD NUT

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

CYCLES

Every thing runs in cycles from our climate to our government. The average ice depth in Antartica is 1.63 meters, it is 1.87 meters this year, at that rate I will never see beach front property in Lynchburg. Our government was united by the attacks during 9-11, but they began to forget and slipped into a liberal cycle. Now that the election is over, and people are beginning to see and feel the result of their vote, the cycle is changing. The people that have been divided and conquered, are coming together at tea parties and the cycle will reverse. Good things come to those who wait, as long as you work hard while you wait.

HEAD NUT

Friday, April 17, 2009

PIRATE

The Kenyan Pirate that learned mob tactics in Chicago, surrounds himself with Czar's (enforcers) that report only to him. The Pirate loans money that belongs to someone else, to banks and large corporations for control, with no intention of being repaid. The Pirate creates the potential for crisis, this will give him even more control. Pirates live large for a short time, they never have a happy ending.

HEAD NUT

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Freon

Our President signed a bill that would allow a citizen to sue the government for global warming. The government banned the use of freon, it was used to apply foam on the shuttle fuel tank. The new government approved process, without the use of freon failed to work as good. Foam came off the tank, dislodging the tiles on the shuttle, and seven brave astronauts were killed. With the government's help, the cure may be worse than the disease. I need a lawyer.

HEAD NUT

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Paradise

It was written in the Koran, that all nations which had not acknowledged the prophet were sinners, whom it was the right an duty of the faithful to plunder and enslave; and that every muslim who was slain in this warfare was sure to go to paradise. He said, also, that the man who was first to board a vessel had one slave over his share, and that when they sprang to the deck of the enemy's ship, every sailor held a dagger in each hand and a third in his mouth; which usually struck such terror into the foe that they cried out for quarter at once. (Wikipedia)

I acknowledge I am a sinner, and do not believe in slavery. Far be it for me to deny my eye-patched Somali brothers a trip to paradise. I stand by our guiding national policy," millions for defense, not one cent for tribute."

HEAD NUT

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Mannequin

Growing up on the river in the country I heard many tales around the potbellied stove at Hurdlow store and Marble Hill store. The crops were laid by, and some of the men would meet at the mouth of the creek, to put out trot lines. They would put out about four lines that had 75 to 100 hooks. These lines were tied across the river, and the two wooden boats would go down to Smith Island to dig mussels for bait. After the lines were baited, a kettle was placed over the fire to cook the fish. When it was about dark someone would break out the moonshine, and the tale's got started. Obb would tell about the time during the depression when a neighbors mule died, they asked him to haul it off. Obb got to thinking, a good cow hide would bring two dollars a mule hide was bound to be worth more. He got to skinning and it was more of a job than he figgered on. So Obb got three men to help, when the mule was half skent they tied a rock to the hide, and the dead mule to a barn pole. They hitched a team to the hide and pulled until they pulled the mule apart. After three more hours the mule was finally skint. Obb went to Hurdlow store to call the Winchester slaughter house to see what the hide was worth. The man at the slaughter house told him if he would bring the hide to Winchester he would give him thirty five cents. About the time he finished with his tale Lee pulled up. He went to the fire and asked them if they heard about the girl jumping off Awalt bridge. They hadn't, so Lee told them what he heard. As Lee was leaving he told them to be on the lookout for a body. Lee crossed the bridge cut his lights and parked his truck. He removed the mannequin that was hidden under a tarp on the back of his truck. About two hundred yards down stream he found the first trot line. After tying the mannequin about ten feet out on the line, Lee waited in the bushes. One river boat and a dim lantern started running the lines. Then Lee heard Simp at the top of his lungs, I FOUND HER!

HEAD NUT

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

G 20

The apology tour was a success, Obama said he was sorry Bush was arrogant. Bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia. He even told the President of Brazil he had a recessive gene for blue eyes. In Turkey they were told his father was a Muslim. After Obama departed, the G 19 meet and decided they would help the U.S. since we were so apologetic. They will stand together and fight when Hell freezes over, this will signal the end of Global Warming. France will take the first step by training the U.S. forces to attack the EPA. They will show an English sub-titled film on how they sunk the Green Peace boat.

HEAD NUT

Sunday, April 5, 2009

North Korea

They have done it now!! Secretary of State Clinton is going to tell the UN Security Council on them. Kim Jong ll was shaking when he said " Please don't throw me in the brier patch again". The rocket was a success, the two stages separated, that was all Iran needed to see. It will reach Israel with a nuclear warhead from Iran. Israel can take care of our light work until the next election. If they fail we should not worry, our president apologized to the French for being rude to them. They can help us surrender, the French have more experience in that area.

HEAD NUT

Friday, April 3, 2009

Constitution

Obama tested the waters firing the GM CEO. Now he can turn his lap dog Geithner loose to fire, or threaten into submission anyone who opposes THE OBAMA PLAN. Obama will start with major banks, and large corporations, to gain public support. Then anyone that has taken government money, teachers, fireman, policeman, social security recipients, and even people that have received tax refunds. We should read the Constitution not have it spun to us.

HEAD NUT

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Americorp

The expansion of this program will make our government one of the largest employers in the world. With 250,000 young paid volunteers, it is a combination of the WPA ( we piddle around) created during the depression, and Hitler's Brown Shirts. There is a difference, Obama's youth have blue shirts.

HEAD NUT