TRACTOR

In the summer when we cut hay we needed an extra tractor at PaPa's, and I was driving one to his house from our farm. The tractor was a 720 John Deere gas burner, and it burned a lot of gas. I was climbing Hurdlow hill, almost to the top when the tractor sputtered, it was out of gas. Knowing that Hurdlow store had gas pumps, all I had to do was turn the tractor around, kick it out of gear and coast to the pumps. It wasn't long until the tractor gained a lot of speed, the power steering didn't work, but the brakes did, they were manual and individual. Thing's were going good until I reached the bottom curve. There was a yellow Buick Wildcat on my side of the road, my radiator was dead center with his hood ornament. He cut hard to the right, I hit the right break throwing the tricycle front end almost in the ditch, then immediately hit the left break putting the tractor back in the road. We somehow missed and I still had enough speed to make it to the pumps. Going down the other side of Liberty Hill I normally kicked the tractor out of gear at the bottom curve, this time road gear was fast enough.

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USAMA BIN LADEN

Usama Bin Laden was killed in Pakistan, we are still waiting on the White House to produce a long form of his death certificate. His body was wrapped in a cheese cloth, and salt cured like a Virginia ham in the salt water of the ocean. Can you imagine the surprised look on his face when he reaches the after life, and discovers seventy two Virginians waiting on him.

HEAD NUT